Things you will only understand if you lived in Callice Court

Ah, Callice, the place that every parent loves. The seemingly perfect university halls for your precious child's first foray into adult life. I can guarantee your mum and dad will love the weekly riddle in the reception and the free lollipops at the reception desk. Little did they know what really went on.

From the rats that ran around the courtyard, to the litter scattered all over the halls. Callice gave me a lot of memories and some of them, you can only understand if you stayed there.

The lift

The lift in every block will always be broken when you need it most. It happens every time and although maintenance get it fixed fairly quickly, it breaks regularly. More regularly than us incredibly unfit uni students can take.

If you've just done a big food shop then make sure to put on your gym clothes, bring a bottle of water and snacks for sustenance because you'll be taking the stairs. It's sod's law. If you live on the top floor at least you're bound to end up losing weight by the end of the year. If the journey doesn't kill you, that is.

Laundry attire

Anything goes. Whenever you do washing, you can wear whatever the hell you want and nobody will care. Put on your fluffy dressing gown and sliders or even just a coat and nothing else.

Just had a shower? Put your hair up in a towel. Fuck it, just wear a towel too. The lazier the better for the laundry room: Callice embraces all styles and nobody cares what you look like.

It's called fa$hun honey look it up

The secret garden

It's an unwritten rule, nobody ever uses the Secret Garden for anything other than to smoke a spliff. It's dark, it's discreet and it's honestly the only thing people use it for.

If you go there in the morning, you'll find the grass littered with empty beer cans and nub ends. What was it even built for if not spliffs? Thank you Callice architects, we are eternally grateful.

Definitely whiteying after a secret garden visit

The awful security

Security are NEVER there and then the one time they are is when you bring someone home from a night out, only then will security decide to check if people all have a key.

Big soz to your pull because they're gonna be sent home straight away. It's like they want all sex to be exclusively inter-Callice relations. Are they trying to breed us?

Signing in

Only for wetties. Unless security forces you to do it.

The toilets are a piece of shit

It needs to be said. The Callice Court toilets by the laundry room are disgusting and nobody ever uses them, anyone who does will be severely judged. They're smelly, the floor is always suspiciously wet and it also doesn't lock properly.

Gosford Gate is like Callice's inconvenient extra block

Every person in Callice will have that one friend who lives in Gosford and always gets invited to Callice pres. They're basically one of us but its just unfortunate that they live across the street instead of across the hall.

The courtyard

Bumping into a friend, someone you met on a night out or just anyone you know in the courtyard is a regular occurrence that will probably happen everyday. It will also become the reason you're late to lectures.

Just pray you're not on the way to the laundry room and looking like shit because that is definitely the time you'll bump into the person you're shagging. It's inevitable.

The pool table

The mini pool table above the laundry room is a weird place. Its the place everyone seems to end up after a night out, nobody ever goes there sober unless they're weird and apparently nobody ever seems to shut the windows here so it's always freezing cold.

Block H

Nobody ever associates with anyone in Block H. Block H are only friends with the other people in Block H and they'll have their own pres and their own flat parties. There is also a rumour that people in Block H refer to all the other blocks as 'pov blocks'. Come on guys leave it out.

You will take the proximity to uni for granted

The beauty of Callice is that its acceptable to leave at 8:50 for your 9am and still be on time. Sometimes you'll even have time for a quick Sainsbury's stop for snacks and a drink.

Please, I'm begging you, take full advantage of this whilst you can. Because believe me, you'll miss it in your second year when you have to walk across Cov for 20 minutes in the rain just to get to a one hour lecture.